One thing that all women face is the decision to have children, but for trans women we are not given the ability to have our own children biologically. The only options for trans women are to adopt or surrogacy. Therefore, it has always felt impossible for me to even consider having children.
As a trans woman, I feel robbed of the ability to carry my own child. I have dated men who have said they wanted to have children and I always tell them I don’t want children, and they don’t understand why, it’s bigger than what it appears.
I want a child that is mine, my partners, our DNA only. Which is impossible. If I adopt it is technically not my child, if I have a surrogate that woman’s DNA is going to be apart of my child and I don’t want that. So I struggle with the topic of having children because I wish that I was able to carry my own child.
I can only imagine what cisgender women struggle with when their bodies were made to produce children and they are still not able to. I don’t want to take away from the fact that there are cisgender women that are actually physically made to have children but are still not able to have when through IVF and a lot of struggles to actually try to conceive. Their pain is incomparable.
Before I started hormones I was asked if I wanted to freeze my sperm to one day have children with, but I decided not to. I did not see a point in freezing it when science is so far from what I want to be possible.
When I explain why to other people they always seem to think I’m crazy, but why is it crazy for a transgender woman to want to have the ability to carry and give birth to her own child. I personally think its something that every woman wants to have the ability to do if they choose to have children, and trans women should not be looked at differently for wanting that.